The Brady Bunch House Mystery
There are loads of things in this world that are mysteries that have never been solved. Who could forget the Bermuda Triangle? – this is a creepy patch of ocean that supposedly gobbles up things when it feels like it. Or, the legendary Loch Ness Monster – I never did see it when I went to Loch Ness (except in the souvenir shop or the ‘model’ in a pond out the front). There’s also the baffling mystery of the light in the fridge – I’m pretty sure that it does actually go out when I close the door. Or, how has the colonel kept his secret herbs and spices a secret for so long? Why does it taste so good? … even though I know it’s probably one of the unhealthiest substances known to man. Or, how did the Kardashians become so famous? Or, who shot JR? – I know that one was solved, but how did they come up with the Bobby in the shower for years thing – I bet no-one would admit to being part of that brainstorming session.
Earthlings have solved how to get to the moon, and even how to run around in heavy boots on its surface. More recently we’ve solved how to get to mars, and remotely race a little dune buggy around, while sending back amazing ‘wish-you-were-here’ snapshots (does the rover tweet them, or does it use old-fashioned email?). Oh….and I’ve just remembered another baffling mystery …. how on earth did Beatrice think that the hat (satellite dish) she wore at the Royal Wedding was either attractive or tasteful? Or, what about all of those mysteries that Scooby Doo and the gang solved – they were real meaty mysteries that needed great minds to solve (Velma).
It took seven books to solve the mystery of ‘How to get rid of Voldemort’ (don’t say that word out loud), and Dr. Smith never did work out how to return to earth – and if I’m correct – he’s still Lost in Space somewhere (Maybe he bumped into My Favourite Martian). Gilligan and the gang couldn’t solve how to get off the island – except for a brief time – but they soon found themselves back making amazing stuff out of bamboo and palm fronds. (side-thought … imagine if someone created an island resort that was just like Gilligan’s Island, complete with bamboo bikes and huts, and Mary Anne’s Coconut Cream Pie – I think I’d go).
All that said, the most perplexing mystery to me in my whole entire life (one that has been eating away at me since childhood) is the mystery of the Brady Bunch house. I find it impossible not to try to solve it every time I watch an episode with my kids. We all know that Mike was an awesome architect, but the design of their house is the source of the many years of torment that I’ve gone through.
Now just bear with me as I walk you through this ….. try to imagine that you are actually walking in the steps of Jan, as she follows along (swinging her long hair) behind her beautiful sister, Marcia.
You step through the front door (see it in the center of the picture) and into the small entry foyer. You still have your back to the front doorway and you look straight ahead. There is that tasteful screen wall that defines the foyer. Now just walk to the left, to end of the wall and stand on the step looking straight ahead (with your back still towards the front of the house). Now to your right (behind the tasteful screen wall from the foyer) is the lounge area with the couches arranged in a u-shape and a coffee table. To the right is the marvelous stone wall that has the den on the other side.
Still looking straight ahead, start to walk (swinging your hair). You pass the main dining table to your left-hand side. Continue straight down the middle and now you walk into the kitchen. There’s the small round meals table to the left and you can see Alice standing at the sink behind the island bench to the right. Then you head through the kitchen and into the family (TV) room through the double doors. From there you turn left and go out through the sliding doors that lead to the backyard venue for potato sack races. Ok, now I hope that you have it visualized in your head, and you feel like you are in a virtual Brady house.
Now, hit rewind and walk backward, fast but carefully until you are standing on the step near the entry foyer overlooking the lounge and dining area. Ok, so you look just past the lounge and see the raised landing that heads to the den. There’s the side table with the statue of the horse. Then you see the famous staircase that leads straight up to the second floor (the steps lead away from the front door). Now, quickly race from the step you are standing on, over to the landing and climb the stairs. Once you’re at the top of the stairs you turn right, then a sharp left to head down the corridor to the bedrooms.
This is where the mystery of the Brady house has upset me for years. You’ve come to the front door, rounded the beautiful entry wall, walked forward (in the same direction as you entered the front door) then straight up the stairs and turned right. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Anyone who looks at the Brady house from the front can see that there is no second storey visible to the right and beyond the front door. Now if you had turned left, I’d be fine, as there is some evidence of an upper storey on the left side of the front door. I’ve Googled this in an effort to calm myself down and found some people have drawn plans. I’ve looked at these plans and they all describe a long narrow house that doesn’t match the frontage. I mean, think about the den. It’s the room to the right of the front door behind the lounge wall. Look at the frontage and see how much house is to the right of the front door – that den must be enormous!
I don’t know what else to say. As I said, this has baffled me my whole life. I think I’m leaning towards suspecting that the Brady Bunch (and their house) aren’t real. If this is true, then for my whole childhood when I raced home from school to watch that early reality show of a typical American family, I was conned.
Thanks for dropping by and please feel free to leave a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this mystery.
I recently got the chance to visit the real Brady Bunch house … OMG!
If you would like to read about my visit please jump over to see my post HERE.
PS. I have no affiliation with the creators or cast of The Brady Bunch. I’m just a fan.
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